Sports - Basic

The Grass Is Green Where You Water It

This past weekend, my oldest son kicked off his fall baseball season, a precursor to the spring, a testing ground to see what development needs to take place in the “off season”. It was a one day tournament, relatively close to home (which is critical to travel sports parents….) and amazing weather. To make it even more fun, several of our boys’ friends were also playing in the tournament in various age groups, so in between games we got to visit with them which was a great way to spend our down time.

When it was time to play, our son took the field, with a new team, a new number and a new team logo on his jersey. This was both exciting and a little heart breaking. Our new team is great, lots of good athletes, nice kids, and good parents and coaches. We are excited to get to know them and watch the boys play together over the coming months. However, when I thought of seasons past, it made me think of all the teammates that weren’t there, of all the athletes and their families that have moved in different directions for various reasons, and of all the great memories we shared with them over the years.

This isn’t a unique experience in the sport of travel baseball. From what I’ve noticed, its common place for a team to break apart after each season, leaving parents and athletes scrambling to find new teams or new teammates for the following season. I’m not sure if this is applicable to other sports but it’s certainly a trend in youth baseball, and it is endlessly exhausting to all involved. There are various reasons for this but the “grass is always greener” mentality seems to be at the heart of it. Teams want better athletes, athletes want better teams, and coaches and parents often want both. As a parent trying to navigate this continuously shifting landscape, I often wonder if the grass is every really greener. Has anyone found a better team, a better coach, a better experience… something worth all the chaos and drama, something that has staying power, season after season. And in the end, are the athletes themselves happier.

I’ve always believed that the grass is greenest where you water it. This doesn’t mean that change isn’t called for from time to time, because it is and change can be good. However, the relentless pursuit of the perfect team, an elusive ideal at best, might be the wrong pursuit. Perhaps watering the grass where you are, identifying how things can improve and being an agent of change to try to facilitate that with the clear focal point of developing the talent and athletes that surround you, is a better pursuit, that often yields better results.

Some of the most beneficial aspects of youth sports derive from learning how to build and develop strong relationships and finding a safe environment where failure is a form of growth/development both for themselves and their teammates. How can our young athletes learn about being a good teammate, a good winner and loser, and overcoming adversity if the solution to any/all problems is finding a new greener pasture? And how can our young athletes learn to believe in themselves if their coaches and teammates don’t?

Good/Great teams are developed, not curated. Curation of talent is what happens in college and in the pros, it shouldn’t be a focal point of youth sports. The challenge and triumph is in forming the raw clay that lies on the potter’s wheel into the final piece and it takes a village to support that process. So, if the goal of youth sports is to develop talent, learn critical life lessons and make some great memories, perhaps it’s time to start watering the grass we stand in, instead of looking for greener grass. Because when we water the grass we stand in, it becomes greener for everyone; and that is how we all win.

The Lessons We Learn From Sports

This summer, my sons have been training with a semi-retired pole vaulting coach, who is nothing short of a legend in our small town, Mumford Leake. We meet once per week and he works with them on the techniques associated with pole vaulting. He’s also introduced them to the shot put, discus and hurdles during our time together. These weekly workouts have been the highlight of my summer. This may seem a little odd, that the highlight of my summer wasn’t some epic adventure or grand vacation. However, watching Coach Mumford instill in my kids the same love and passion he has for track and field has brought a lot to all of us on those early Monday mornings.

As our summer of field event training has come to as close, and I think back on what they’ve learned, it’s some of the most basic lessons that sports can teach you. How to overcome adversity, literally… and how to be brave enough to try new things, even if you aren’t good at them. Each of the boys have gravitated to one field event more than the other. Brooks really likes doing the pole vault, and while Ridge thinks vaulting is fun, he seems more engaged in the throwing events. While my hope is that they continue learning these sports and participate in track in the spring season, (they are baseballers at heart… so fingers crossed), I will always be grateful for this summer mornings at the track and the lessons they’ve learned.

I’ve always told them that we put them in sports so they can learn important life lessons, like how to be a good teammate, how to overcome adversity, and how to win and lose with grace. While they’ve learned a bit of these things on their own this summer, we also got to watch these lessons play out on the world stage at The World Athletics Championships for 10 days in July. Nightly, we’d watch the events which were full of incredible feats of athleticism, speed, and strength that were capped off with victorious moments of athletes draped in their country’s flags being celebrated by all in attendance. However, the moments that stood out the most, were the moments of defeat, specifically in the pole vaulting finals. As the bar rose higher and higher, the number of athletes started dwindling and as each athlete missed their final attempt, they graciously bowed and waved to the crowd. Each one took a moment to literally “bow out” of the competition and they did so with dignity and grace, which left a lasting impression upon all of us.

In sports as in life, we can’t always win, and having a gracious attitude in those moments that don’t go our way, says so much about our character.